The Bane of My Existence

Most people who know me know that I am deathly afraid of one creature: a spider. I really don't understand why more people don't despire them more. Seriously. They are probably one of the most ugliest, vilest, horrendous, scariest, most evil thing on earth. Personally, anything with more than 4 limbs is unacceptable to me (unless you are human and have a mutation). And I mean, come on...a spider first bites you to numb you, then wraps you up in a tight, suffocating silk cocoon (which I think is ironic because we see silk as being rich, luxurious, and a must-have). Once you're all wrapped up, you must await your terrible fate until the spider feels hungry enough to suck you dry of all of your body fluids.

Can't you see why I hate spiders?

It probably doesn't help that when I was very, very young, I was running around the corner of the house and got caught right in the middle of an outstretched cobweb...that scarred me for life.

I don't care that spiders make the world a better place because they eat other bugs. There's actually a commerical where a man gets up, walks to the window, and starts singing with a cricket who is perched on the window sill. Together, they sing into the night, looking out at the bright stars. Suddenly, a cluster of stars blink, become eyes, the camera focuses on the horror on the man's face, and then pans out to show a spider that had emerged from the dark and was quickly wrapping up the singing cricket into a cocoon as the poor cricket's voice fades away. How horrible!

Anyway, last night, I was opening up a binder that was laying innocently on the floor. I almost passed out. There was a spider in my notebook! Arrrghhhhh! Of course, my first reaction is "KILL IT!" so with the palm of my hand, I frantically started pounding on my binder to smoosh it to death. There are few things in the world that is worse than half a spider on your papers and half of a spider embedded in the palm of your hand. I almost cried right there on the floor...

Hence why instead of a picture of a spider, I posted a picture of lambs...lambs aren't scary.